A Simple Kind of Life

"she wears me out!" no really... there are ALOT of people i know, and even don't know, that seriously wear me out, just by watching them or being around them. they constantly have to be moving around, doing something, going somewhere, cleaning something, saying something, being around people, telling people what to do, building something, tearing down something, watching something, reading something, writing something, buying something, selling something.... get what i'm sayin?
i am so glad i'm not one of these people. i can sit. quietly. i may wonder about what i'm gonna do later, or what i need to do, or what's for dinner... but the thought passes and i'm back to here... i can sit and read for hours at a time, and i can sit and do nothing, if i want to. granted, it's rare with my 3 kiddos, but that's not the point. i love staying home, i love those rare moments alone to just... sit. doing things, having a full planner doesn't make me feel important. talking on the phone doesn't make me feel better about myself. i can go hours without talking, if the opportunity arises...
i love my simple life... though it looks boring from the outside, i couldn't ask for more... well, besides a trip to Hawaii... to do nothing there, too.......

...when in Rome...

so, i'm reading this book, Beyond Opinion by Ravi Zacharias. it's a christian apologetics book, and it addresses all of the opposing worldviews that are against christianity.. ok... i guess i could have just called it a christian apologetics book and left it at that... anyway, if you don't want to think about things, don't read it. ... just sayin...

so, i thought about things...

we want our cake, and we want to eat it too.. we tend to want God to intervene on the bad things in our lives... why doesn't He stop the evil? why does He let bad things happen? if He would just do something about it!! and then... at the same time... we DON'T want Him to control our lives. we don't want to be puppets!! we want to be able to make our own choices.. to have a "free will" to choose... He probably thinks we are one crayola short... missin a few nuts and bolts.. we pray, "Dear Lord, please give me money... please give me a new car... please don't let me keep screwing things up... " but at the same time, we don't want Him to force His will on us..  am i making sense?

"there is none good, no not one"... we think, i'm basically "good".. i feed my kids (most of the time), i'm honest (most of the time) i don't hate my neighbor (most of the time)... but, how do we know what "good" is? what is our comparison point? yeah, most of us are "good" compared to the nut job across the street who abuses his family, or steals, or cheats... but this isn't our measuring stick.. how do we know what "good" is? God is good. Jesus told us that... so, if we hold our "goodness" up to His "goodness"... how does it compare? i know, right? God's "goodness" is perfect, unable to sin, Holy, Holy, Holy... so then, if we look at it that way, compared to Him... we may not make the cut... we may get voted off the island... thank God, for changing the requirements... because if it were up to me, and my choices, and my natural ability to screw everything up... i would be saying ... "no stairway!! denied!!!"...

...ninja assassin...not just a clever name...

so, halfway through the movie, i look at scott and say, "ohhh.... the guy kills ninja's.... i thought he was just a really good assassin...."

i gave up on the exercise/yoga thing for now... my kids won't allow it.. i know, right? but i thought it was a good enough excuse to get by...

i have been reading these amazing books on reformed theology, christian apologetics, predestination, calvinism, preterism... yes, i've been busy... i guess my above excuse as to why i don't have time to exercise just lost it's mojo...

i started getting interested in apologetics on accident. less than 2 years ago, i picked up Lee Strobel's book, A Case For Christ, and i've been hooked on the subject ever since. a few months ago, a friend introduced me to the rest of the above mentioned topics.. while i have been really enjoying learning about it, at the same time, i 'm kinda pissed off that i never heard about it before... better late than never, i guess...

so now i'm trying to find apologetics books for my kids. i didn't even know what an athiest was until high school, but times have changed. they have already realized that not everyone believes the same as they do, and i want them to be able to at all times, give reason as to why they believe and trust in God. maybe it will make their faith stronger.. i just want them to know that they know that they know, you know? ...heh...

doggog style

learned my first lesson today on concentrating... from my 2 year old. i'm trying to teach my brain how to focus on one thing at a time.. my thoughts are so random and everywhere, this is very hard for me to do. so, let me give you an example. folding clothes. i'm focusing on the task at hand. sounds easy? here's my thought process: folding the towel... folding the.. hey, what's that beeping? oh yeah.. clothes.... folding the shirts... folding the... walmart... i need to make a walmart list.. oh yeah... folding clothes. ok, so ... you get the picture.
so this is how the lesson learned went:
me: zoe, you want a hot dog?
zoe: doggog!!!
me: ok, let me fix it for you...
zoe: doggog!! doggog!!!!!!!!
me: i'm getting it, hang on!
zoe: doooooooggoooooooog!! doggog.. doggog.... DOGGOG!!!!
me: argh....
yep. my 2 year old taught me my lesson of the day... how to focus.. doggog style....

Pudding

yes, it's been a while since i last... blogged... my mind has been literally going a mile a minute.. don't you just love those little phrases we use, even if they don't make sense? anyway, i started noticing how my thoughts work.. i can wear myself out sometimes... and i decided, i need to do something about it.. i also want to be healthier and start exercising.. learn how to be a little more (ok... alot more) focused... so, i did what i do best... i googled.. and started finding some stuff on yoga.... i know, right? my first thoughts? buddist/monks/hinduism/hippies... yogi bear... third eye blind... yeah, i know... but as i was reading on the different forms, i saw that it doesn't always go with other religions.. it can just be about becoming healthier, bendy (ha!), centered, peaceful, calm, focused... you get the point. so i started asking around, i have friends in every.. let's say, "walk of life"... a good friend of mine put it this way.. it can help you grow closer to God... i get that.. if you learn to block out all the drama in your life, learn to focus... sit still.. and listen... maybe the whisper won't be so faint? i'm just saying, isn't it worth a try? for me it is.. so, i am on a mission to learn a little more about it, start the stretching and posing and whatnot... and yes, meditation. don't laugh. i don't mean that kind of meditation.. just ... trying to find some balance. nothing else has worked so far, so, why not? i know to be careful... i know where the line in the sand is... i'm going to learn how to... just.. breathe.....

the color of things...

i read some stuff about aura's today.. don't get me wrong, i know what's considered "right" and "wrong" from the christian point of view... i may receive holy water in the mail from my brother if he gets wind of this.. but, i'm too curious for my own good... anyway, i read that everything that is "living" has an aura... that we all put off energy, and that energy can sometimes be seen through colors.. it also said that aura's can .. how do i put this... feed off of each other... which i totally can understand... or repel each other... or compliment each other... you get the picture...
this may sound hokey... but it really does make sense... when i am around certain people, i literally feel drained... some people, before i really even talk to them, i know i can't be around them much... it's not a "psychic" thing, or even a "paranormal" thing... it's not consulting the dead.. it's not telling the future... it's just ... colors...
i am in a full blown state of confusion right now, and i am trying to figure it all out... it almost seems as though it's calling something by two different names. like, you say either "linens" or "sheets"... but they are the same thing... stay with me, i have a point... i think... in christianity, we have "prophecy"... speaking about the future... yet psychics are frowned upon... same thing with dreams... if a christian has a dream that comes true, then it's "from God"... but if a psychic has the dream, it's evil... (again, speaking from the "christian" point of view...) i have many more examples, but no time to go into it...
so, i'm confused... everytime i think i get close to an answer, 5 more questions pop up... so you see, it's not working out.
that's it... i'm just curious about... the color of things...